all american family dinner
mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition

paperstreet-soapcompany:

a moment of silence for the english teachers that have to read angsty 13 year old creative writing

lecteurdepaumes:

God bless

lecteurdepaumes:

God bless

officialputin:

white boys’ haircuts be like

image

celestia:

once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying

garbashians:

when someone makes a joke about one of ur insecurities