person: chris watch out! youre about to get your crocs wet!
me: I KNOW! its OK! crocs are made from a foam resin called croslite, which is made out of a polymer called ethylene-vinyl acetate! so theyre completely water proof!
When all ur friends are in the same room
Haha dude…you are so cute bro. Want to be my bf? Bf means brofriend, so its like double the bro. Youre my best bro dude. I love you man. I really love you so much
every breath you take
i’ll be watching you
fifty shades (thats it. thats the whole joke. im wearing 50 pairs of sunglasses right now this is comedy gold people)
“ya but how many chainz” i holler from the back of the crowd. suddenly its my show and your girlfriend is on my arm now. shes also a man and your gay
this is my senior page
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
why are people so obsessed with “top or bottom”
honestly im just excited to have a bunk bed
uhm im pretty sure OP was talking about sex lol. what are you 12 or something ?
. what the fuck is sex